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Writer's pictureNene Sterling-LS

Marriage is a contract of self-care

Updated: Feb 26

This evening, I was reminded that April 2025 would be our Silver Jubilee wedding anniversary.


It's a signed document


I could not believe my ears. To think, I've been in this business for so long. For the first time in

24 years, my husband reminded me of the date in advance. He is not talking about April 2024, but April 2025. That's fourteen months in advance.


At this stage in the marriage, my husband is more keen to remain married. But nonetheless, by the special grace, we will both be the contract come 2025.


That said, I am still surprised that I've been in this contract all this time. Where did the time go?


Don't take it too serious


We are both quite relaxed about these milestone celebrations and don't like to make a fuss. I'm not one to keep track of all these dates. I remember I once travelled to Dubai with friends on my wedding anniversary weekend. I completely forgot when making the booking. It was on my arrival in Dubai that my husband pointed out to me that it was our wedding anniversary. He had also forgotten, until I left. Years later, we are still married, and now we both remember it's almost 25 years.


But indeed, 25 years is not 25 days and is a significant milestone that can't be forgotten.


Did you read the fine print?


This evening, we had fish and chips for dinner. If you know, you know. For those who don't know, it's a Friday tradition for this region.


This evening, having returned from buying our dinner, in a twinkle of an eye, we both got irritated with each other. He got grumpy because he felt the portion size would not be enough. I got irritated cos I couldn't understand why he did not speak up in the Chip shop. Coupled with his sudden change in mood, just added to my irritation. One minute, we were walking together (literally hand in hand) to buy our dinner, standing in the queue, chatting and smiling. The next minute, we are avoiding each other.


This evening, we ate simultaneously but separately in our own space. After dinner,  we both faced our front. We occupied our time with some talking therapy, social media and blogging.


Marriage is in phases


This evening I realised that marriage is like menopause; one minute, you are hot, the next minute, you are not.


This evening, like clockwork, he came to check on me. I was sat up in bed, blogging and listening to YouTube real-life American murder investigations. He teased me as he usually does. I laughed a lot like I usually do. Having not spoken for the last few hours. It is business as usual for us. Not a single irritation in sight. The joys of ageing together.


Today, we did not divorce ourselves. We gave ourselves space and indulged in self- Care. Marriage is indeed a contract of self-care as it involves taking care of yourself and your partner in a mutually beneficial way.


I'm still laughing 😊 as I type.


Self-Care in marriage


Personal space and self-care are tools to use and practice for peace of mind in any relationship.


Personal space and self-care are important aspects of a healthy marriage. They can help you and your partner feel more present, relaxed, and connected with each other. 😊 .


Some ways to practice personal space and self-care in marriage are:


Personal space and self-care can help you and your partner balance togetherness and individuality and enhance love and intimacy. 💕



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